It turns out that self love and being comfortable and happy in your own skin is a challenge for most people despite where they are on the ladder of success.

Are you happy in comfortable in your own skin? or do you feel anxiety ? when you feel a little exposed because the good news is that you wouldn’t be alone. The greatest challenges most people face is that internal critic, the self loathing voice that just won’t leave you alone, especially when you’re just on the brink of success, it comes to sabotage you. Loving who you are, acceptance and appreciation for where you are in life is key to the Success of your dreams.

 In this article I’m going to share with you exactly what you can do right now to bring yourself back to being at peace with life and who and where you are. I’ll give you a life hack to get you moving fast insha’Allah, but you need to slow down as you read this to get the best out of it.

At times Loving who you are seems to be a problem for so many of us. If you have self love issues and feel anxious when you feel you’re going to be seen, becoming visible and vulnerable, let me tell you from experience you are not alone. I’ve been there, done it and warn the t-shirt.

Why is this a problem you might be wondering?  because the truth is, that it’s a huge problem. I’ve seen it in my experience in business over the years, and I see it in my Coaching and training.

How can that be? how is it that successful people have the same problem as I do?

Sometimes we just assume, that the ‘Successful person’ has no confidence or self esteem challenges. Over the years I’ve met so many people through Coaching and counselling. I also spent many years training business development execs in Sales and Marketing and through Leadership training, and I can tell you that at least 60% or more of those people struggled with self esteem, confidence and self love generally, even though they seem like the loudest person in the crowd.
You see despite people being involved in what seems to be a leadership role or business acquisition role, they too, deep down behind the facade of Success, feel vulnerable and challenged to like themselves for who they are
Imagine that the 6 figure earner, maybe someone who’s loud and stands out in the crowd, having a self love issue? doesn’t sound real until you actually talk to them.

Look I’ll be honest with you, my own challenges with loving my own life the way it is, was probably what drove me down the route of psychology, theology and trying to figure life out. The challenge was tough and no amount of ‘success’ ever resolved it. But it was one of the greatest blessings ever, because it has led me from the corporate world to where I am today Alhamdulilah.

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Why Does Success not feel like Success?

What often seems from the outside like an amazing life, doesn’t seem so amazing to the person actually living it. You see we all look at others thinking they have it all. They have what I need. That’s the first problem, we see that others have a better life, a better body, a better relationship, a better career, a better business. The grass is always greener on the other side, the side I’m not in.

So, we stay busy always trying to get to the other side. When I get over there, I have that clients I want, I have that look, that Car, that home, that family life, that Job, that mindset, that confidence then it will all be ok. We think when I get to that side of the world, the side of success, it will feel so much better, I’ll be able to be happy with myself, I’ll have the reasons I need to love who I am and where I am in life.

But for now, I’ll just give myself conditional love. I’ll make it my business to ‘Improve myself’ to become like her or him, when I’m like that I’ll have arrived.

Have you ever put yourself in that situation?

What happened when life didn’t happen the way you wanted?

What happened when you struggled to be like someone else for such a long time?

Did it feel like confidence is at an all time low, like you can’t seem to lift yourself out of it. Even as I type this, I feel that horrible feeling of being down, it’s a deep seated feeling in my chest, where you feel it coming up to your throat. It’s horrible.

It’s the feeling that You’re not enough.

It does that to you, the feeling does.

How to Stop it and Start Loving Yourself Now

Here’s a trick stop right now.

Stop thinking and stop feeling that thought.

Just listen to the silence, even as you read this.

Breath a little…

Take deep breaths, inhale and hold your breath for 10 seconds, and now slowly breath out….

All the while I just want you to listen to the silence.. don’t try to understand it

keep breathing… and keep listening to that beautiful silence..

it’s such an amazing sound, the sound of silence..

(Don’t continue reading right now, just keep breathing and slow it down, do this for a few minutes and listen to the silence, trust me you’ll feel good insha’Allah)

Ready to move on to Self Love?

You are always enough, because The Most Compassionate, The Most Loving Creator made you in that way. Never deficient, never without…

You see we get caught up in the moment, trying to be like those living on the other side of the fence, where the grass is greener. We try to be this perfect version of a human being, forgetting that you are a perfect version of an imperfect human being. It’s those imperfections that make us so unique, it’s those imperfections that make us so interesting to one another. Trying to be perfect is like trying to throw a pebble into the lake without causing a ripple, without disturbing the stillness of the lake. That’s the beauty of the lake, the ripples. It’s what makes it different from the sea that has waves that come crashing down on you.

If you could love yourself for who you are, you could become truly grateful and connected to the Al-Loving, The Most Merficul. You see trying to be somewhere you’re not is not the problem. Trying to be someone you’re not currently isn’t the problem either.

The challenge isn’t in having aspirations, the challenge is in struggling to accept and embrace who you are NOW. Loving what is life, who you are and enjoying the moment you have right now.

It’s the most exhilarating feeling to be in love with life exactly as it is. It energizes you, it makes you so grateful, so happy to be a contributor and to offer goodness to the world. The minute you become immersed in the idea that your life isn’t enough, you will suffer.

End the Suffering of Self Loathing and Depressive thinking

That suffering doesn’t come from you not being enough, it doesn’t come from you not being loveable. It doesn’t come from you not being as successful as someone else, or not having the right car, the right home, not having financial freedom or having time freedom. It comes from you struggle with who you are and not accepting the life you have, the person you are.

So imagine that, if you struggle to accept the life you have, the person you are, how could you possibly love who you are and achieve any level of success. You’ll always think you’re not enough, or you don’t have enough. It’s a destructive cycle.

You can just let go of all of that…

Fall into the silence, you don’t need music to sooth your heart, or motivational speeches to do that for you. You don’t need anything outside of who you are. The minute you drop out of challenging yourself to be someone else, somewhere else. The minute you accept and embrace who you are right now, you will find so many reasons to be in love with life and who you are.

It’s the most amazing thing

The Most Loving Creator of the heavens and earth tells us

وَمَا أَصَابَكُم مِّن مُّصِيبَةٍ فَبِمَا كَسَبَتْ أَيْدِيكُمْ

“And whatever afflicts you from affliction it is from what your hands have earned.”

Quran,Ash-shura 42,30

You see this verse is amazing, it tells us that there is a cause and affect. The opposite of this is also true,

You will not obtain something, except that you would have done something to create it. What you can do to create that self love, the self respect is to create it within you. Your belief about yourself is a thought, and your actions will only ever match up to the beliefs that you have.

If you decide to intentionally believe in yourself, accept who you are, what you have and where you are, your life will change forever. It may not change from the outside, but the inside acceptance and love and respect for who you are will emerge. It’s intentional. It’s not something that happens to you.

You see we afflict ourselves with trials, we try ourselves against these made up ‘better situations’. What could be better that where you are right now. If you feel like you are in a dark place in your mind, then you can intentionally let go of that.

You can absolutely change things forever insha’Allah. If you’re ready to train in creating a real Life transformation, where you no longer have to suffer from self doubt, confidence issues, or you are ready to build your life and Business from a happy state of being, then we are here to support and facilitate that insha’Allah.

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